i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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