Well apparently he's into motor boating.
my sisters under your porch take her home
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
