All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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