I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize