Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
