you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
