This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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