Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
