i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
