Pappa wants mamma naked
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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