belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
