He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
