I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
