so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
