people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
