Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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