Me too!
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Two words: nipple clamps
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