After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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