I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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