there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize