He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
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That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
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Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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