i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
