My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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