I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
