is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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