Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
