I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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