we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
