rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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