I hate your face
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dick very happy bro
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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