i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
