Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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