I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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