Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
