No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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