Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
