Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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