i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize