giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
