Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
