:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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