honey bunches of taint.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
