"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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