she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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