I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
