Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
should my penis look like a turkey
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
