so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
