I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
