cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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