we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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