Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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