belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
