I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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