Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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