we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
