no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
