Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
