make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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