I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
