Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize