every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Boobs speak an international language.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I am naked and annoyed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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