Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize